This week has seemed like a roller coaster both emotionally and physically. I have been experiencing a rush of mixed emotions. On top of that physically I have been feeling blah/ill. I think it has something to do with the weather.(The weather has been chilly in the mornings & evenings ! With lows in the 50’s and 60’s.) My thoughts have been all over the place. Where should I start?
In one of my classes I received a paper back and quickly found out I didn’t get the grade I was aiming for. To make a long story short, my Professor ripped every piece of my paper apart. (There was red writing EVERYWHERE. lol) I know some people I’ve expressed my annoyance to about this, may feel
passing is passing and I should get over it, but it’s much deeper than that. (The more I am immersed in “college life,” the more I realize everyone has a different reason for attending college. I believe, this realization explains why I have recieved mixed feedback from others about my feelings about not getting the grade I was aiming for.) To me passing isn’t just passing especially when it has to do with classes directly for my major….which is ENGLISH. I don’t just “want to pass,” I want to gain knowledge so that I can grow, so that I can become better at what I already do and what I enjoy doing. (Writing and exploring/analyzing literature.)
On top of not doing so well on that paper, my new thesis for my next paper was basically “crap,” so now I am doing more research trying to find some direction on making that better. Then to make matters even worse, something that broke my heart on an entirely different level this week was my Grandmother (Mum’s Mum) having a stroke this week.
I’ve been in such a panic this week, and death seems to be on my mind. My hands shake, I grabbed………
“BREATHE,” he says.
So I do. I forgot to do that, I thought to myself. I continue breathing and my hands stop shaking. Sometimes we are so busy processing everything that is going on in our lives….. Thing after thing after thing and we forget. We forget to slow down. We forget that we don’t have control over every single aspect of our lives. (The only thing we control are OUR OWN CHOICES.) We forget we aren’t superhumans. We forget to BREATHE. Life is going to happen and we must be mindful that we take care of ourselves in the process through self-care, giving ourselves lots of self- love (being patient with yourself, knowing your limits,etc.), and surrounding ourselves with loving and supporting people. Also changing our thought process about certain things in life can be helpful. ( for ex. learn to view the glass as half full instead of half empty.)
Initially as I was typing this post all I felt was frustration and sadness. Mainly, FRUSTRATION. The more I typed the more I asked myself what is being frustrated over these setbacks/unexpected events going to do? Exactly, NOTHING. It’s just going to cause me more stress and continue to lead me into a spiral of _______________. (fill in the blank)
So looking at my glass as half full instead of half empty. Episode 1 of No Off Button (The Podcast) is up on SoundCloud, Google Play Music, & Stitcher!( It will also be available on ITUNES soon! More details will be in a future post, thanks for your patience!) I have another paper for that class, so I have another chance to learn from the mistakes and do better! To help my body feel better physically I can nourish my body with lots of vitamins, some exercise, and rest. Most importantly, my grandmother is OFFICIALLY out of ICU and on her way to recovering. (Thank God for that !)
Food for thought: Now look at your “glass” aka your life, and answer this question,What things can you look at in your life currently as half full instead of half empty? (And, yes I understand it is extremely difficult to see the good in some situations, but that is not the case for ALL situations. Focus on the good, where you can in different areas of YOUR LIFE and go from there. )
Thank you so much for reading! I sincerely appreciate you all supporting my blog & my work !
Sending Hugs & Love,